Q&A with Nidhi Kaur, poet and author of My Wedding with Truth

1. Why did you write My Wedding with Truth?

Truly speaking “My Wedding with Truth” was something magical that happened to me. I never thought of writing a book, I never knew there was so much inside me that wanted to come out on paper. It just happened that I was writing poetry on and off, and one day I decided to start saving that all in a word document, just to show it to my kids when they grow up. I later realized that it was actually a healing process that I was going through,
and my writing turned out to be a self-help book that could benefit anyone who is pain or is trying to reach out that pure, formless, loving energy that is in and around us all the time.

The poems in there are a reflection of the paths that I followed to achieve peace in my life. Forgiving others, letting go of the past and forgiving our own self is something really important and we tend to forget that in our day-to-day life. And more than anything else just having an unconditional faith that the divine is present with us all the time, no matter what we are facing in life, can turn a dirty chapter into a beautiful one.

2. What is your favorite poem you have written and why?

All the poems are my favorite, because each one has spoken to me through my soul. But since you have asked me to pick one I really like the one that I wrote recently, this one is not published in the book. Here it is:

One day these roads will lead me somewhere
I will lose track and not know where I am going.
Twists and turns I will make,
To find my way—the way I have been taught and guided.

In the maze of roads I will be lost
Where to go, I will not know.
I will scrutinize my mind to tell me something,
But it will be silent, instead I will hear my heart beating.

Tired and distraught I will come to a stop
And knock at the door of a house.
The house will not look familiar
But the door will be opened.

And I won’t be surprised when I see you in there
As if I knew you have been waiting for me.
You will take me in your arms,
And I will just give in myself—in silence.

I will never think of going back,
I will never think of the lost ways or being “normal”
For with you, in your arms
Is the secret place I have been yearning for.

And now though I am lost for the world
I have truly been found!

I like this one because of its deep meaning and also because of the way it came to me. I was driving home from work. I had a busy day and had no time to relax; it felt amazing how someone inside was speaking to me just when it knew that I was ready to listen. It felt as if someone was waiting for me and I broke down to tears while I listened to the words coming through
my soul. I could not write it down immediately, so I told my inner voice to speak it again to me later at night. I came back home, spent time with my kids and then when I was ready to write it down on a paper it just came back flawlessly without me getting stressed about forgetting any lines that were spoken to me earlier in the evening.

3. What is your favorite poem you have read and why?

The favorite poem that I have read is “The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost. The poem is also mentioned in my book. This poem has stayed with me through ages, reciting itself in my subconscious. I was fascinated by it the very first time I read it. It reminds me how I have actually chosen “less traveled roads” all my life, and how by keeping my faith in the divine,
each of the road has lead me one step closer to my inner light.

4. Many of your poems suggest that you have found God within you. If so, how have you found God within you? And, how has that changed your life?

God for me has many names: divine, light, soul, nature, everything that is living, including the earth and air is God. Everyone around us, including you is God. A deep faith in God or the divine is the first step. I tried to follow on the religious paths to heal my past but those were not leading me anywhere, and somewhere I felt it is hard to keep your faith in something
that is external or detached from you. It is hard to follow on the religious rules, when your pain does not follow any rules. When the pain comes to you, it beats you down mercilessly in every possible way without following any guidelines. So the healing has to be as infinite in power and vast like eternity. The healing plan needs to resonate with your soul, and
the healer needs to be the God himself or herself. It is only when I reflected back on my life, and I did that while writing my book also, I realized how divine has been working with me in harmony giving me everything I ever wanted from my life. The flowers, the tress, the birds around me have been listening to me, my soul has been listening to me and bringing the universe in perfection to fulfill the desires of my heart.

My life has changed completely, I do not blame anyone or any circumstances for whatever happens or happened in my life. I have faith that whatever is happening is for my good, I just need to believe in it. Sometimes I feel two voices talking inside me; one is “worry” which always, without fail gets defeated by the voice of “faith”. I see miracles happening everyday, with things turning out in perfection like someone is fixing the pieces of a puzzle. If there is something that intends to cause a concern, then the solution also comes out on its own. I do not have to look for someone to help me; the miraculous touch of divine is already there. And it is not just for me, the divine touch is present for everyone, every person including you, we all need to keep that faith.

5. What have you learnt about yourself through writing your poems?

I still got to learn a more. Life teaches us all the time and that is why we all are here—to learn. It seems this book is only the first step. I will have more books coming out. Sometimes I fear, yes I do since I am not perfect, that what if one day I do not know what to write. But the next moment I hear the voice of faith, I tell myself “Your writing comes through your soul, your soul is not leaving you and not going away anywhere, so the writing will come, and in a form that it has to come.” I lose my worry and am back in my peaceful zone. I have been hunting for peace like a crazy person not knowing that it was lying just inside me. Whenever I write it feels like I have lived the day fully. The day I do not write or I do not connect with nature, it feels like a day not lived.