By Lori Rogers, owner of Rogers Marketing and Positive Activity
I love the book All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, by Robert Fulghum. It is a wonderful book about the “rules” of life that we learn in kindergarten. Fulghum describes actions that we can carry forward all our lives; Saying please and thank you, having a buddy, taking a nap, watch for traffic, live a balanced life, watching out for one another, play fair, and many more. My yoga practice has taught me more “rules” of life.
In yoga we are taught to be present and listen to your breath, stay on your mat and let distractions melt away, stay calm and breath in the storm of heat and sweat and effort, listen to your body and take a break, if you fall out of a pose so what, believe in your own strength and power. The instructors end the class with a positive statement, “Be on your mat today, take what you have practiced with you today”. What does all that mean, I wondered?
After a year of practicing, I began to tune in and really understand that my yoga practice was teaching me new skills and not just a fitness routine. I love the strength and flexibility the practice gives me, but the practice is so much more.
Being Present and Back to Your Breath
In a yoga class we want to stay focused and present in the room, in our postures we connect our mind, body and soul. When other thoughts come to mind, acknowledge them, thank them, “I’ll get back to you later.” and send them on their way. Back to listening to my breath. Off the mat I try to stay focused on the task at hand (writing this article). I try to stay present in a conversation with a friend and really “be” there. (not thinking about my to do list) When working with a client I am connecting to them and their needs and the project at hand. (Not thinking about the laundry pile) It takes practice, just like in yoga; remember we call yoga “a yoga practice”.
Breathe Thru the Storm
Our instructors teach us to breathe through the difficult times. Imagine a hot 95 degree studio, 60 mats side by side in 4 rows, sweat dripping from your forehead down your chin and dropping on your mat, the smell, the grunts, the effort…. oh and stay calm and breath through the intense posture. Your arms are outstretched, your front quad at a 90-degree angle (or close) to the floor, back leg straight behind you doing its best to keep you grounded. Muscles engaged and strong and growing hot and burning …oh and stay calm and breath through the emotions, feelings and slight pain. This too shall pass…boom there it is. I realized I must use this skill in other areas of my life.
“This too shall pass”. I have taken this learned attitude from yoga practice to my life. We have a son with autism. He can have days filled with anxiety and worry. If I receive calls or texts from his caretaker or teacher reporting a meltdown, I go to a sad, fearful, anxiety ridden state. The pit in my stomach is hard and twisted. But wait, stay on your mat Lori and breathe, think good thoughts, this too shall pass, think about ideas and ways to improve his life, his health, and his coping skills. It may take me a few hours or days, but I can talk myself off the cliff. This takes practice but it does get easier.
I use these learned skills in my business too. Things happen, things can go wrong: an order does not ship on time, the wrong color product was shipped, the item is out of stock, a client needs a gift in 2 days for an event. The old me would have been filled with worry, fear, anxiety, stress; but now I take a breath and stay calm on my mat through the storm. A calmer more optimistic mind can be more creative in finding solutions to problems. I sit and think and work through the issue, it may not always be the customers Plan A, but Plan B suffices. If the issue does not work out, there is a reason, and I can learn from these experiences too. It is freeing to my mind and body to accept the negative thoughts, breathe thru them, feel them fully, then let them pass thru me. I do not want the negative energy to get stuck somewhere in my body.
Take a Break
We hear “listen to your body and take a break when needed” during yoga class. This is one of the hardest things for me to do. What do you mean I have to be resting child’s pose for a few minutes while others are moving along in the flow of the class? My ego will push against that notion and say: “Don’t be a weakling, get up Lori, you can do it, power thru even if you are in pain or out of breath or feel nauseous, what will other people think.” It takes conviction on my part to thank my ego for the suggestion, and rest anyway.
I can be a teacher to other students in the class, showing it is OK to listen to your body, take a break, and just be. In everyday life the same is true. I now take time to meditate, go for a walk, call a friend, or get in to bed at 7pm, take vacations, eat the way that nourishes me, drink the fluids that nourish me. I listen to my body and spirit and respond to what it needs, not what the norm or society thinks it needs.
It’s ok to Fall Out
In yoga class we are told “Falling out is ok, do not take yoga so seriously, go to your edge and if you fall, laugh and get up and go again.” Many poses are balance poses. And yes, I fall out of them. Now I can laugh and get back into the pose. This was not always the case. God forbid I show that I am not perfect or cannot hold the perfect dancer pose. What will people think? I am so bad at this. I can’t balance on 1 leg. Blah, Blah , Blah.
We never tell a toddler that they are a failure if they fall when learning how to walk. We encourage them, clap our hands, laugh with them. It is a joyous occasion. The toddler always gets back up and never thinks negative thoughts about themselves. When did this become a common practice for adults?
Now I embrace the messiness, go to my edge. I have no fear over falling. I get back up and do it again. This only took me about 4 years to accept.
Now in my career I am not afraid of falling. I make the cold call, do the videos for Facebook and Linkedin, write my blog and post it for all to see, open my new website for all to view, talk about Positive Activity®. If something does not work out the way I planned, ok, not great, but
this is a learning experience. What can I learn from the falling out? I don’t see things as failures – I see them as learning experiences.
You body is stronger than your Brain thinks you are
Our teachers remind us “Don’t let your brain talk you out of it. You can do hard things, you are strong, your body is stronger than your brain thinks you are.”
I did not believe this at first. Isn’t my brain my friend? Doesn’t it tell me the truth? Well..as I learned not always. Our ego brain wants to protect us; save us from mistakes, danger, pain, or falling. If I was a cavewoman this primal instinct might be fine. I am not a cavewoman, and I can direct my thoughts.
I now believe in my own strength and power. I believe I can hold half moon 30 seconds longer. My legs and abdomen are strong and will support me. My body is getting stronger each day. My cells are healthy and well; to think otherwise does not serve me.
I can write a book, do presentations, branch out into new areas of work and career, have more freedom and space in my life. I can do bigger things then my brain thinks I can.
Maybe my little stocking stuffer book is these 5 tenants! The Other Things I Really Need to Know I Learned on My Yoga Mat , by Lori Rogers.