1. How do you personally apply spiritual teachings in your everyday life, and what practical advice would you offer to those looking to integrate these lessons into their own routines?
Based on personal experience, and what I’ve been taught, the most practical and significant way to incorporate spiritual teachings into daily life and routines is through a practice of meditation.
There are three stages of wisdom described in Buddhist teachings: Listening/reading; Reflecting; and Meditation. If we simply close a book or leave a teaching thinking, “oh…that was nice,” without reflecting on what we heard or read, then our way of engaging with life will be relatively unchanged. By “reflecting” we question, and test the teaching to see if it holds up. Having a qualified teacher to answer questions is very helpful.
Meditation is a method of “familiarizing” the mind to something. There are different ways of meditating for different purposes, but a very beneficial practice is a breathing meditation to focus attention on the breath. Thoughts, feelings, and sensations will inevitably lure attention away. Acknowledge them, send them gently on their way, and bring your attention back to the breath. With practice, we become more focused, conscious, and more efficient with our day’s activities.
By continuing to explore the teachings, reflection becomes actual knowledge, and is incorporated into your mediation practice. Insights gained bring genuine compassion, and an organic integration of the spiritual teachings into your daily life is the result.
2. What do you consider to be some of the most universal truths, and how can understanding them positively transform our lives, regardless of spiritual background?
There are certain undeniable realities that we all can recognize in ourselves and in the world around us. Reflection to recognize their deeper significance can be transformative. These “universal truths” are: Mind and Thought, Impermanence, Cause and Effect, and Interdependence. While each one can be a much bigger topic, here’s a nutshell version:
Mind and Thought: There’s no doubt that we’re all capable of thought, and have a mind where thoughts arise. Einstein said, “A problem can’t be solved from the same state of mind that created it.” Think about all that occurs in the mind to shape our state of mind. A small sampling includes: perceptions, biases, knowledge, the interpretation of things that come through our senses, anger, love, hatred, compassion, attraction and desire. So, if what Einstein said is true, that a problem can’t be solved from the same state of mind that created it, then mindfulness – or awareness – of what is actually going on in the mind is the essential first step to change that state of mind to one that is more conducive to a true solution, or an improved state of being. Meditation is a perfect vehicle to help cultivate this awareness. It’s a method to quiet the constant clamoring of thoughts that continuously scramble through our distracted mind. Thoughts occur lightning-fast, and precede every other action of mind–including feelings, body, or speech. Without awareness, we are unconsciously driven by a mind that’s not operating with clarity. Mindfulness offers an opportunity to shift the habitual nature of thoughts (state of mind) so we can shift our experiences as we move through life and its challenges. We learn to slow things down, and to pause before we react—inwardly and outwardly. Things become a little calmer, and we begin to notice a greater sense of inner peace which we’re then able to bring outward to others.
Impermanence is another undeniable truth. Everything is in a constant state of change. This includes our bodies, the things that occupy our mind, the physical objects around us, the natural, and political environment in which we live, relationships, etc… Even things like who’s an enemy and who’s a friend is subject to change. An active awareness and acceptance of this fact helps keep us grounded. By recognizing the impermanence of our own life, we heighten our awareness to the fact that this human life is incredibly precious and are motivated to use it wisely.
If we’re willing to let go of expecting the impossible–that things will NOT change– the magic begins! Because impermanence is an undeniable truth, there’s ongoing potential for positive change, and potential for freedom.
Cause and Effect—We’re always engaged in some sort of action of body, speech, or mind. Every action delivers a result–a process that some call “karma.” Think of actions as seeds we plant and that will produce their related result. We can train ourselves to be mindful not only of an action’s immediate result, but also its down-the-road result. Recognizing that each of us is only one of approximately seven billion people on this planet, and that our actions create rippling effects, this leads to the next universal truth of Interdependence.
Interdependence— Like thought, impermanence, and cause and effect, we observe interdependence in daily life but with minimal attention. There’s an ongoing synergistic exchange in nature, and everything and everyone that exists comes into being, and survives through interdependence.
Consider the vast number of humans, animals, and insects that have contributed in some way to make the things that sustain our lives available to us, and think about where, and under what conditions many of them live. Reflecting on this, a sense of gratitude and appreciation begins to enter, and walls we may have built around ourselves begin to soften. It’s through this type of reflection that gratitude, our capacity for compassion, and our experience of inner peace begins to deepen and grow.
3. Why is equanimity so difficult to practice, and what steps can we take to cultivate this quality in challenging situations?
Equanimity is difficult to practice when we are blind to the universal truths listed above. If we take time to really reflect on each universal truth, meditate, and hold the understanding we’ve gained in our mind, our view broadens to recognize the significance of these realities in daily life. In this way, the practical logic of cultivating equanimity becomes second nature. With practice, when challenging situations arise, we are much better equipped to handle them skillfully, compassionately, and with equanimity and wisdom.
4. How important is it to examine our motivations, and how can aligning our efforts with a clear purpose lead to greater joy in the process of achieving our goals?
Motivation is a powerful force that energizes us to diligently persevere in any goal. Knowing the value and purpose behind a goal helps keep our motivation strong, our efforts focused and on track. Does the goal align with your core values? Research what is required to complete the goal to make sure it’s something you can accomplish. Is there something more you need to learn, or do to ensure you can complete it? Having done your due diligence, then with a strong motivation and commitment to see it through, you will do all you can to achieve it. Your motivation and commitment will keep you energized, and is the well you’ll draw from when you need strength and courage to keep going.
5. Can you share an example of a personal obstacle you’ve turned into an opportunity for growth, and how spiritual practice helped you reframe that challenge?
There was a time when it looked as if my newest book, How Joyous Effort Works, wouldn’t be published. I was devastated. It’s the fourth in a series based on the Buddhist teaching on The Six Perfections* and I’d spent over ten years working on all four books. The irony that this book is based on “Joyous Effort” isn’t lost on me! While everything involved to see this book through to publication didn’t always feel joyful, and I had countless disheartened moments, it was through the process of writing this book that I had many opportunities to reflect on the teachings presented. Shantideva* explains that before you begin something, make sure it’s something you can complete. And, once you’ve begun, make sure you complete it. My faith in the validity of the teachings, the value they offer to benefit others, and Shantideva’s prescription to not abandon my effort gave me courage and confidence to leave no stone unturned!
*Also known as The Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life, taught by eighth century Buddhist monk and scholar, Master Shantideva.
6. What do you believe is the key difference between healthy confidence and pride, and how can we cultivate confidence without falling into the trap of ego or self-doubt?
When we’re confident that we’re capable of something, typically it’s because we’ve done something similar in the past, or taken the necessary steps to prepare through training, education, experience, and practice. With this foundation, healthy confidence is strong. Pride, on the other hand is fragile because it’s ego-driven, and tends to compensate for insecurity.
Self-doubt is another form of self-absorption that is about protecting the ego. To help counteract it, review the knowledge, skills, and experience you have. They’re reliable, and therefore strengthen confidence. If there’s something more you need, seek the support of others with experience and expertise to learn from. (Interdependence!)
The trap of ego, or pride, often has signs that can include the need to feel superior, feelings of jealousy, or manipulative behaviors that seek to undermine others. The root is fear and a sense of inadequacy. If you recognize these signs, you can take the same counteractive reflection described above, and replace fragile pride with stronger confidence. By seeking and receiving support from others, feelings of gratitude, compassion, and camaraderie eclipse fear.
Be happy about your accomplishments! Although it’s common to say, “I’m so proud…” I think we may check our true meaning there. Be happy, but don’t let that happiness be tainted by the fragility of pride.
7. In today’s fast-paced world, what do you think are the essential ingredients for living a happy and meaningful life, and how can we strike a balance between external demands and internal fulfillment?
Over the years His Holiness the Dalai Lama has spoken about the need for secular ethics. This relates to ethics that are not tied to any particular religion, but respect all communities, all cultures, and all religions, and are based on common sense, common experience, and scientific evidence. He has said that compassion, loving-kindness, and altruism are the keys not only to human development but also to planetary survival. It’s quite simple if we’re mindful to cause no harm through our actions of mind, body and speech, and treat others as we would like to be treated. A life guided by compassion, and honoring one’s core values addresses the more important aspect of one’s life: the “being.” Guided in this way, the “doing” falls in line to balance external demands and internal fulfillment.
8. How does shifting our focus from personal happiness to the happiness of others create a ripple effect of peace, both in our personal lives and on a global scale?
In my opinion, self-absorption is a bottomless pit of discontent, but shifting focus to the happiness of others brings joy. By reflecting on interdependence in daily interactions with others we recognize the common need for compassion and love. This lifts us from the small focus of “self” to the wider focus of others, and leads to actions rooted in compassion. With this, interactions will be more peaceful and joyful. So, I’ll come back again to the three stages of wisdom: Listening/reading; Reflecting; and Meditation. With these three, the ripple effect of peace is set in motion.
9. In the face of life’s daily challenges, how can we consciously choose to respond with creativity, resourcefulness, and compassion rather than fear or anger?
Well, by consciously choosing that! This comes back to your question about motivation. We confront long to-do lists each day. Imagine if at the top of the list was to remain mindful of compassion, creativity and resourcefulness. Support this intention by reflecting on the four realities of Thought and Mindfulness, Impermanence, Cause and Effect, and Interdependence. It’s a game changer!
Janet Kathleen Ettele is an author, musician, teacher, and coach residing in Connecticut. As a student of Buddhist dharma, she brings its teachings into contemporary practice through her writing and music. Janet graduated from Berklee College of Music and worked in the entertainment industry prior to being a mother, grandmother, and all that followed. She is the author of How Joyous Effort Works: The Energy to Benefit Others with the foreword written by His Holiness the Dalai Lama. It is the fourth book in the How Life Works Series.