Excerpt from Declutter Your Home, Declutter Your Soul: The South Asian Art of Organizing Your Life, by Meghna Desai.
Dharma is a complicated but important concept in South Asian philosophy. You can spend a lifetime studying dharma, picking apart its intricacies, and debating the meaning and purpose behind each word that is used to define the idea, but we have more important things to do here.
For our purposes, dharma deals with duty, righteousness, and leading a life that is in accord with one’s true nature and purpose. The entire idea of dharma requires that we accept a universe with a moral order; a universe in which each individual is asked to play an important role for the benefit of all.
The trick is to discover our place in this universal order, to acknowledge that we are a part of a greater whole, and to find contentment and joy in our role. This is often a complicated sell to westerners, since we are raised in an individualistic culture where we are repeatedly told that the individual – not the collective – is the most important unit within society.
But once we dig down to the true meaning behind dharma, I think we’ll find that the contradictions that we sense are mostly surface level, and that the concept of dharma is broad enough to apply across cultures and philosophies.
Dharma stipulates that you are here for a reason and that you have a purpose to fulfill. Thus you, the individual, are an essential part of an eternal dharmic morality play. As the Oracle from The Matrix remarked, “We’re all here to do what we’re here to do.”
Dharma fits neatly into our ongoing discussion of decluttering. To practice dharma, we first must reflect on ourselves, on our true nature, and on our values. How can we know our role if we don’t first understand who we are? And, of course, we can’t understand who we are until we begin the process of decluttering our soul.
Now, don’t become paralyzed by the scope and breadth of this process. Self-discovery can be a never-ending process. We, like all things, are in a constant state of change.
Our job is to find our role in this cosmic drama. Get a sense for yourself, for your likes, your dislikes, the things that bring you joy and contentment. What is your contribution to the story of the universe? How can you best serve the collective interests of humanity? Or, if that sort of thinking is too broad for your liking, then shrink it down to size: how can you best serve your family or your community?
When we incorporate the idea of dharma into our decluttering, we grant ourselves a new and exciting perspective on our approach to our possessions and the process of creating a harmonious living space.
As we’ve repeatedly discussed, the physical act of decluttering our home mirrors the emotional, mental and spiritual act of decluttering our soul. Since we are beings that are in a constant state of change, our purpose and our values will shift and evolve over time. Thus, the role that you play as a teenager will not be the same role that you play as a middle-aged person. Your role as a child will differ from your role as a parent. How you contribute as a worker will vary from how you contribute as a consumer.
What ties all these roles together is a coherent understanding of who you are as an individual. With introspection and patience, we can zero in on our values, on our goals, and on our potential contributions to others.
As this is a journey without an end, it is better to think of it as an evolving process rather than as a task to be completed. There will not come a time when you can clap your hands together triumphantly, push yourself up from your chair, and declare to the universe that your time of contemplation and soul-searching is now at an end.
There is no graduation ceremony from the process of self-discovery.
What happens when you consistently spend time reflecting on your true nature is that you develop the wisdom needed in order to make decisions that will help you stay true to your needs, wants, and goals.
And as you develop an understanding of yourself, you are better able to define your role in the world, which allows you to construct a living space that reflects your values. This is where decluttering becomes more than a chore: it becomes a spiritual exercise that moves you forward along your chosen path.
Frankly, a cluttered home is nothing more than the outward expression of inner turmoil. The inner reality reflects the outer reality, and vice versa. As above, so below.
There has always been an individualistic streak in modern western culture, but the rights of the individual were always balanced with responsibilities towards the collective. People were expected to care for their family members, to participate in civic society, to adhere to well-established social norms and expectations, and to honor their legal obligations.
Nobody is an island, and a complex web of implied obligations ensured the successful functioning of the larger society. As long as we honored our commitments to each other, we were free to push the boundaries of what was possible for us as individuals, to claim both sacred and physical space for ourselves, and to set our own rules and expectations within the parameters of our own homes.
Unfortunately, the emphasis on the individual is now being replaced by a social contagion of narcissism. While individualism formerly focused on one’s responsibilities to others, narcissism emphasizes an ethos of entitlement and self-centeredness. Personal responsibility has been replaced by the need for personal validation, an expectation that strangers will publicly acknowledge and testify to our greatness. It is no longer enough to tacitly accept another’s lifestyle; we must now publicly affirm that everyone’s lifestyles and choices are perfect just the way that they are.
But societies cannot function without acceptance of the idea that we are all in this together, that we are all working towards similar goals. Or, to put it in a more dharmic way of phrasing: the world works best when we honor our duties to one another.
Of course we will never succeed in building a perfect society. Of course we will never reach a point where universal joy and contentment can be achieved. That’s absurd. But those sobering facts do not mean that we should give up on the idea that together we can build a more just, more equitable society, a society where the individual is free to flourish while the collective can prosper from the individual’s good work and innovation.
Dharma calls for us to recognize and respect our duties and our obligations to each other. It reminds us that we are a small but vital part of a larger whole, and that the survival and success of that whole is what truly matters.
And dharma in the context of decluttering asks us to understand our strengths, our weaknesses, our needs, and our wants so that we can build a living space that allows us to thrive. I want you to be the best version of yourself! I want you to lead a successful life, a life where you fulfill your deepest dreams about life while also working to improve life for everyone else around you.
Some for me, some for you, some for the people I’ll never meet, and together we’ll make this a better world for all.
For many of us, our home is not simply the place where we live – it’s a multipurpose space where we work, eat, pray, reflect, host, and relax. Each of these activities that we undertake require a different type of space, meaning that our home has to be as flexible and adaptable as we are.
This brings us to an important point about decluttering: everyone’s requirements for a clean and organized space will be slightly different. And our needs from room to room will also vary. A bedroom does not need to be as neat and as clean as a kitchen and a bathroom need to be. A closet needs to be well-organized, but you don’t need to be able to eat off of the shelves.
A place for everything and everything in its place.
Of course, in addition to being a proverb that explains the concept of decluttering and organization, it’s also a great representation of dharma.
There is a place for us in this world and all we have to do is find our place.
Now, to be certain, that’s easier said than done. Remember that life is a journey, not a destination. It is important to have goals, but it is more important to not get lost while we chase our goals. Stop and smell the roses. Search for and find the beauty in everyday situations. Remember the excitement that you once felt for certain things in your life. Try something new and embrace the initial failures you’re sure to experience.
And never, ever stop believing that you belong here. You are here for a reason. You have something important to share with the rest of us. Give yourself the grace to be you. Grant yourself the freedom to feel a sense of duty towards your fellow human beings.